Five Keys for creating success for your child.
Mr. Turnbull
Summit High School
Physical Education/Health
Summit High School
Track and Field Coach
Below are a few ideas
to help you and your child navigate the next few years of high school. These are just my ideas based on my
experience as a teacher and a parent.
Success in high school, in my opinion, is based on choices that students
make. We, as parents, have an
obligation to help guide and shape our kids choices as they develop.
1.
Develop
an open line of communication with your child.
a.
Check in each day. Let them know you are with them and will be
of assistance for anything they need.
b.
Try not to judge behavior. This is a difficult task. Children (yes, high school students are still
children), don’t intentionally
make behavioral mistakes.
c.
Communication is a two-way discussion. Listen and try not to become defensive as children respond emotionally before
intellectually. Paraphrase back to them what you actually
heard. Clarify with your child what
they are wanting you to hear.
d.
Once you have heard what your child is saying,
take a moment to think and then respond accordingly. I have personally found that this method
works so much better than a quick and emotionally charged response.
2.
Set clear expectations and boundaries.
a.
What are study expectations?
b.
What social expectations do you have? Your child?
Is the cell phone an issue?
Develop set standards as to when your kids can use them and when they
cannot. Do you have them turn them off
at night? If not, they are on them until
2 or 3 in the morning. Is this
acceptable to you? Is it healthy for
them?
3.
Pay close attention to the friendship network
they have.
a.
I mentioned this in my list for the kids as
well. In my experience, your child’s
peer network is the deciding factor for personal and social choices. When a child moves into high school, parents
fall down the list of importance. Approval from friends trumps parental approval
many times. (Sad but true)
b.
Don’t be afraid to “be the bad guy”. We have to put our foot down at times and
hold our ground as to who they can hang out with. EXPLAIN your thought process. In my experience, they may not like it, but
they are more likely to accept it if there are legitimate reasons. (Your kids usually know the issues as well)
c.
Check in often.
All of these new phones have the ability to track. I know it seems like an invasion of privacy,
but today it is so important to know where they are. Explain this to them that it is our
responsibility to know that they are safe.
Knowing where your kids are and what they are doing is the responsible
and loving thing to be doing.
4.
Establish a loving and safe atmosphere for kids.
a.
Provide nurturing and productive environments.
i. Have
dinner together at least two or three times a week. Talk about things. These dinners are a chance to check in and
see how things are going.
ii. Invite
your child’s friends over. This is a great way for you to get to know a bit
more about who your child is hanging with.
iii. NEVER HOST a party where alcohol is at. Not only is this a violation of the law, it
is irresponsible parental behavior and you will be held negligent in a court of
law if anything should happen.
1.
Is this the message you would like to send to
your children?
2.
I’ve heard over and over that “kids will drink
anyway”. This is completely false. Your expectations and own behaviors dictate
what your kids will do. It isn’t the
other way around.
3.
Keep this thought in mind whenever the
topic of drinking comes up:
a. If your child isn’t even organized enough
to clean their room, what makes you think they are organized enough to behave
responsibly when drinking.
iv. Choose
healthy activities to do with your kids.
1.
Movie night!
2.
Build a meal.
Kids choose and help in the kitchen.
3.
Family walks.
4.
Family trips to games/activites….etc…etc.
5.
Check in often about homework, etc…etc.
a.
Check studentvue!
i. Kids
will usually say “I don’t have any homework”.
In my personal experience, once I check studentvue, I find this not to
be the case. J
ii. Discuss
a plan for turning in homework.
iii. Remove
privileges when kids aren’t getting work done.
1.
Why do they need a phone when they can’t even
turn in basic homework assignments?
(Cell phones and social media are one of the biggest distractions for
homework)
2.
Gaming priority before chores or homework? Remove the distraction. Put a password on your Wifi?
